This is going to be unusual for me, because most of my posts are reflections of my Bible studies.  Well now, I’m going to go out on a limb here.  When I first started this blog I was looking in terms to see if anyone else was having the same daily struggles as I was.  In hopes of helping them as my studies have helped me grow in my Christian walk.

Last year – 2014 was a year of persecution, torment, hurt and it was full of a lot of pain, both physically, emotionally and mentally.  It’s not a year that I can be proud of my accomplishments because they were very few in nature.

In May my life became a living disaster.  No matter what I said or try to do nothing was going right.  People were accusing me of things that I didn’t see happening and no matter how many times I apologized nothing was getting corrected.  At the end of May, beginning of June, I started attending a Christian Recovery program online.  One that a friend recommended to me and I have since then been following the steps to recovery.

It has not been an easy road, but then walking with Christ isn’t suppose to be.  We are to walk and live like He did when He was here on earth.  Which at times is not an easy thing to do.  I found myself not only crying on a daily basis, but looking within myself to find the real problems.  Yes, I said problems.  There were more than one and I had to deal with each and every one of them.  So yes, it can be more than one.  It’s a very painful process, but as followers of Jesus Christ it has to be done for us to walk in His ways.  Purging our systems of the things that are not pleasing to God.  Getting rid of the things that not only plague us, but are holding us back from walking like and with Christ.

To be honest, I am not fond of this process, but it was a needed element for my beginning recovery.  As I continue to walk in this recovery I do what is called a daily inventory.  Checking to see if there was anyone that I hurt, anyone that has hurt me, if I need to forgive anyone for wrongs done to me and for wrongs that I may have done to them, as well as checking to make sure that I have not said anything that has discouraged anyone.  You see by doing this daily inventory check I find that I am being accountable to not only myself, but to God as well.  Working to get myself closer to His will for my life.  By purging/getting rid of the hurt, habits and hangups that have held me back for so long.  Making amends to those people that I know that I may have hurt.  Owning up to the things that I have said and done.  When I cannot make amends to any person that is no longer around then I do it to God and know that I have been forgiven and that I don’t need to hang on to that hurt any longer.  I can rest assure that I am healing and that God will be pleased with me as I am going through the process.

It has not been an easy road, but I have found that I have healed more this past 6 months than I  can remember.  No more hiding behind my walls, no more burying things in the sand.  No more running away from the truth.  God has shown me that He is with me not matter what happens and how I handle it depends on me.  I have learned a lot and I will continue to grow and learn as much as I can.

My laptop decided to go nuts on me last month (December 2014), so I had to revert back to reading the physical Bible instead of my online devotions and my e sword Bible.  It may have been frustrating, but I did whatever I had to do to continue to do my recovery.  I didn’t want to lose what I had already  done.  So I did the next best thing and created my own Bible studies and did some reading.  It can be difficult when you don’t have your technology, but the physical book is still available to use and we should use it more often.

Yes, this is me getting real and telling it like it is.  I have not done this much over the years of my growing up, but I have come to realize that it’s time for me to stop hiding and be what God wants me to be.  One of His children.

Do you know Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?  If not, then think about this; when Christ returns for His chosen, where would you like to go?  Heaven or burning in the lake of fire of all eternity?  To me the choice is simple, I have already chosen.  What about you?  Paradise sounds way better than living in torment, burning for eternity in Hell.  Don’t you think?

What are your thoughts?  Care to share?